Redenen waarom ik van je hou...

Ik stuur je elke morgen eentje,
Waarom zou ik het niet met de rest van de wereld delen?

1. Ik zie je graag omdat het beste, warmste en veiligste plekje om in te slapen jou armen zijn x

2. Ik zie je graag omdat iedere keer ik je zie de vlinders in mijn buik nr mijn hoofd stijgen en ik voor een tel alleen maar jou op de wereld zie x

3. Ik zie je graag omdat je zo zotjes bent om na 14 jaar mijn droom waar te maken. X x x

Fireflies

I've been blind
Unable to see all the little sparkless in the darkness of my fear.
Therefore i'm writing this for you, my love, as proof.
Proof that, although a bit of the darkness still remains, i can see them now.
I can see those fireflies of love you're sending me.
Just to remember, i've captured them in a jar.
Every time i tend to forget and the darkness closes in on me again, i just shake the jar and let myself be blinded by the light of your love again.
But still, now that my eyes can see, my ears long for the sound of "i love you"

A letter to mr shakespeare

The course of true love never did run smooth... #shakespeare

dear mr shakespeare,

I can only agree with you.
Love is a cruel thing.
It's cold like ice when denied
It's hot like fire when consumed

I do not dream of a perfect love,
I'm not that foolish.
But dreams are the fuel of love...

In dreams you can run from reality.
Untill there comes a day when reality is more perfect then dreams.

In my dreams he was mine from the start.
His lips only for me to kiss,
His eyes see only me,
His heart beating only for me.

... At that point my dreams were more perfect then the cold hard reality.

And then the battle began...

Don't ask me why i let him hurt me so much.
You couldn't understand,
No one could.

I love him not with the heart but with te soul.

From the start i knew he would hurt me. But i also knew he was the one who holds my hapiness.

Now every descision he makes is for my hapiness.
And happy i am.
Lucky to have his heart.

So mr. Shakespeare, you were right, the cours of true love never did run smooth, but in the end it was all worth it.
Now it's just him and me against the world.

Ps: and to you my love... My sweet fucked up minded boy... I love you

In love we trust?

How confused i am right now.

It feels so strange...
You say everything i want to hear.
Like every word is healing a crack you left in my soul.

But why am i so afraid...
What if you change your mind again?
I don't want you to...

I've believed in us for so long.
I still do...
Please don't change your mind.

I'm so afraid you'll do so much now and after a while you'll take it away from me again.

Promise me that all you do and you're about to do will last forever...

You're so confident right now.
Never saw you so ready for battle.
I admit i like the new you.
Don't take away everything that was the old you...
The fucked up you...
I loved taking care of you...
If i can't do that.. What am i?

Caught myself looking at your flowers again.
I never loved flowers...
But these change everything...
I adore them...
I hope they never perish.

I'm looking forward for everything that's about to come...
But most of all i'm longing for your kiss and your arms around me.
I just want to vanish in your love again.

You'll do everything to proove you're worthy...
You just don't realise it has always been and it will always be you.

You're the one who holds my soul.
It just needs some fixing...
But after all it's only you i trust with it.

It's only you i love now and forever...
Confident or fucked up... It's you

Why i love you

I can give you a thousand reasons why...

I love you for your eyes, the way you look at in moments of silence
I love you for your lips, the way they kiss me and i just loose myself
I love you for your arms, the safest place in the world
I love you for the way you smile at me and make me forget how hard the world is.
But most of all i love you for the fucked up person you are...

Because in my heart you're my fucked up person...

The thin line between love and hate

I always believed in love
I dreamt about pure hapiness for eternity
I found it, you destroyed it.

Now i'm sitting here with my bleeding heart in my hands and my broken soul at my feet.
A soul i protected for so many years.
Now i'm looking down i see it there, shattered in milion peaces.

There's no more strenght in me to pick them up.
So i look and step on them.
It breaks, it hurts, but secretly i'm enjoying this.
Breaking myself so no one else can have the honour of doing it.

Today is the worst day.
All my hope is gone.
Vanished in thin air.

Now all i have left is pain and hate.

How i love hate!
It rushes like liquid fire through my veins.

I've been a fool to put my faith in love.
But hate? Hate never disapoints me.

I could put the blame on you.
But it was all me.
I was foolish enough to let my walls down for you.
Foolish to let myself love again.

I'm never making that mistake again.
I'm taking all the briks you've thrown to me and i'm putting my walls back up.
Locking everything outside.

I'm building a prison for my heart and soul. Right in the middle of the garden of hate.
Where you, in time, will only be a memory of the last time i loved and believed in love.

Ik mis je

Waarom gaat het niet over?
Waarom blijf ik afzien?

Hoe vreselijk is het gevoel van snachts wakker te worden en je te zoeken.
Het is warm in de kamer maar ik heb het zo koud.

Ik zou alles doen om nog een nacht in je armen te kunnen slapen.
Een nacht je hartslag te voelen.
Je adem in mijn nek...
Je geur in mijn lakens.

De kwelling stopt niet.
De eenzaamheid word niet opgevuld.

Ik hou mij sterk..
Maar binnenin ga ik dood...

Ik wou dat ik de klik kon maken,
Gewoon ijskoud zijn...
Maar het lukt niet...

Jij bent mijn warmte, mijn nachtrust, mijn liefde..

Ik mis je

Who we are...

I still love you
After all you've done to me
Says a lot about me

You have the chance to make it right
You choose not to
Says even more about you

Bloemblaadjes

Je houd van mij. Je weet het niet meer
Je houd van mij. Je weet het niet meer

Ik voel me een bloemmetje waarvan de blaadjes afgetrokken worden.
Hoeveel keer heb ik dat niet gedaan toen ik klein was.

Hij houd van me. Hij houd niet van me.

Bloemperken zijn gesneuveld door mijn kinderlijke fantasien.

Nu ... Ik zit aan mijn laatste blaadje.
Hoeveel ik ook wil mijn bloemmetje is bijna kaal.

Tuurlijk hou ik van jou. Jij bent degene aan wie ik mijn ziel gegeven heb.
Niemand twijfelt daarover zelf ik niet.

Maar liefde is voelen en niet denken.
Liefde is luisteren naar je eigen har en niet naar de woorden van een ander.

Hoe kan je mij zo overtuigen dat je van mij houd en dan naar anderen luisteren en het dan niet meer weten.

Misschien hou je echt van mij maar is het gewoon "het moment" niet.

Maar wat doe ik dan?
Voor mij is dit het moment.

Jij bent altijd de reden van mij geluk geweest. Van mijn verdriet ook.

Ik weet ook niet waarom ik er steeds in blijf geloven. Misschien ben ik naief? Of ik geloof gewoon met heel mijn hart in "de ware liefde"?

Het spijt me voor het ultimatum...
Maar nu is het aan mij.
Nu gaat mijn hart voor!

Kies je nu vandaag voor jou en niet voor mij dan is het definitief.
Kom mij dan niet een week later vertellen dat je toch van mij houd om dan weer te twijfelen.
Als je 300% zeker bent dat ik ben wat je wilt voor nu voor altijd... Praat dan met me. Maar ik kan niet beloven dat ik er dan nog zal zijn.

Je houd van mij. Je weet het niet
Je houd van mij. Je weet het niet

Ik zit aan mijn laatste bloemblaadje.
Wanneer dit geplukt is rest er enkel nog de leegte van het kale stengeltje en de gedachte wat voor een mooie bloem het ooit geweest is...

i love you but loving you hurts...

Love hurts.. they say..
Love conquers ... they say...

People say a lot.

I never lost faith in love..
But faith tests me...

It's been days now,
days filled with tears.
The toughts of you that made me smile fill my eyes with tears now.

You say you love me,
you say you'll change... for me... for us.
Still i see no change.

I want you to scream, cry and hold me.
I want love letters and crazy phonecalls.
I want you to do things that make me cry from happiness.
I think i want a lot...

Maybe it's just my romantic soul, but as independent that i am, i still need my prince.
Could you buy yourself a horse (white one if possible) and come and rescue me from
dehydration? i think i'm running out of tears.

Deep inside i know you love me.
I saw it in you eyes when you asked me to hold on.. hold on to us.
But why do you only show me when you're afraid of losing me.

I just looked for the 1000th time at my phone... still no message.
Does it hurt that much just to send me and ask me how i've been.
Call me and say you love me.

I want to scream at you again!
Scream so you would understand... but i think you're deaf to my plees.

So i'm begging...
Not in your face.. i won't let you see me so weak!
Please proove yourself worth of my love!!
Fill my eyes with tears of love,
Fill my lungs with lauther,
Fill my heart with love
and my damn phone with messages and calls ...

I know you will never read this, maybe that's why it's so easy to write it down.
I'm sick of feeling like julliet looking at romeo who can't open the bottle of venom,
thinking... "i'm dying here, just turn the lid the damn right way and follow me into eternity"

Just realise... i love you and i'm worth it... and do it quick... i'm out of patience.

I love you but loving you hurts.

The boy with the guitar

in silence i watch

How your finger touch the strings

How the fire burns in your eyes

How you lips sing the lyrics in silence

in silence i watch

How you become one with the instrument in your hands

How the two souls become one

Do insturments have a soul?

Watching you play i believe, i know it ...

In silence i know

While you own my soul, the guitar owns yours.

In silence i see

what people mean by rock n roll will never die...

it lives on in the soul of the boy with the guitar....

Nachtmerries

Schreeuwend wakker worden uit een plaats die anders zo vredig is...

Daar waar mijn gedachten veilig zijn wacht mij nu angst...

Gehuld in de donkere sluier van de nacht, wachtend op de verlossing van licht Sluit ik mijn ogen weer en geef mij over aan de kwellingen van mijn ziel

Wetend dat enkel de warme gloed van jou liefde mij kan redden.

Nachtmerries zijn maar donkere paarden die door mijn hoofd draven

Zware hoefafdrukken achterlatend in de zware donkere nacht

Stone #1

It’s raining, i feel the cold drops roling down my stonecold body.
Following the road down to my feet, burried in the tall grass.

Little do they know that the rain softens my pain, like tears runnin down my cheeks. Great emotions falling down from the skies.

Everyday i look at my love, unable to touch him, feeling how my heart burns for one more last kiss.

Knowing this will never happen, rain falls down like tears from heaven. 

Still i wouldn’t be anyplace else but here. Next to him, together in the embrace of eternity.

For the one who holds my soul

When i lay down and think about the enlightment of the heart, it burns.
Feels like in love there's only shadow and darkness.
Wild horses running angry in my heart that is to small, to narrow.
Raging to break free.
Hurting without the feeling of freedom, drowning in lonelyness.
And still my soul believes in kisses warm like sunrise,
Sleeping in strong arms only surounded by heartbeat.
Gentle words spoken like strokes of feathers.
Letters written by shakespears hand.
And then at the purest moment, i wake up, staring at the cold white ceiling.
Feeling like there's no hope left.
At that darkest moment, when all hope is lost...
Just open once again your heart for the kiss of cupids arrow.
Only to feel the feeling of freedom again.
Never think, just run with your arm wide open in the fields of love.